Difficulties.

Yesterday was Simon's birthday. Or "tirpay" as he says it. He's 4 now. I couldn't help but feel my heart break knowing that he couldn't spend it with his parents. But he doesn't understand the circumstances. He doesn't understand that his dad is incarcerated. He doesn't understand that the court won't allow his mom to get him and his sisters back. He's only 4. All he knows is that he wants a scooter for his birthday, and that's more than enough for him. He's smiling and he's happy and it breaks my heart. I wish I could have thrown him a birthday party. With balloons and Transformers and a cake with candles. But he was happy eating spaghetti and leftover banana cream pie and watching cartoons on the telelvision. He was happy. He was smiling. But he doesn't know. He doesn't understand. And it kills me. But all I can do is cry.