Daisies.

I volunteered for Youth Mentorship Shadow Day for PASS this afternoon. I was a part of the scavenger hunt around the campus. A day full of 3rd-8th graders is very refreshing for a jaded college student. And it was with them that I finally went up into the Campanile. Beautiful. Breathtaking. And the elevator talks to you. Pretty damn cool. I wish I had brought my camera. &Today was actually my first time going inside a library. The only time I came close was to find an ATM in Moffitt, which was out of order so I walked out. Doe Library is super nice &hella legit. I should broaden my horizons when it comes to studying locations.

Today is also Holly's birthday. I took the 52L for the first time, and I went to Northside for the first time. Had a small salad for dinner because I had hella pizza during Shadow Day. Today was just a big day of firsts for me. Campanile. Library. Northside. Wow, what a busy day. Which would explain why I'm super tired right now. With a massive headache as the cherry on top.

John Mayer Radio on Pandora makes for soothing blogging music. But I hate how they limit the songs you can skip because I get music A.D.D. and can never finish a song. &Just a sidenote, I really don't care very much for listening to live music. A cheering crowd in the background just fucks up the song, unless I'm actually a part of that live audience. But recorded live music is no bueno. Especially when the audience starts singing along. Uh, hello, we want to listen to the artist, not obnoxious fans trying to sing. I might just be grumpy right now from exhaustion. But it's true!

PASS Staff applications came out last night. &Applying for staff is something I'm seriously considering. I'm not quite sure which position I want, but there are some that I'm leaning toward. But I'm so hesitant because I'm not sure if I'm cut out for staff. So I'm going to have a one-on-one with Paddycakes so he can help me sort it all out. In his 3rd year on staff, Patrick is like, a veteran. So I'm glad he can give me some perspective. I guess I'm most concerned about being able to manage my time and getting along with whoever else is appointed to staff next year. But if it all does work out, that would be really exciting. I love PASS -- what it stands for, the work that we do, the lives we touch -- it's all just so empowering. Damn, there ain't no place like Berkeley.

I went to Nation's last night after work with some fellow Senior Weekend committee heads. Even though this place is known for their pies, I didn't get any because I was too full. Kawawa. &Regretting it! But it's okay. That won't be my last time there, I hope. Anyway, we played the Hot Seat Game as we ate. Basically meaning everyone had to be hot-seated for 5 minutes. Any questions. Honest answers. No holds barred. All I have to say is that I learned some pretty interesting things. I also noticed how shameless I am about the things I've done. Life's too short to be ashamed. Just go with the flowww. &We're all adults. So yeah, fun game! I don't know how I'd feel playing that with the folks back home though. Maybe if they removed the sticks up their asses.

My sister texted me today. She's having drama with one of her friends, who is being immature, rude, and just a big ugly bitch. I love that she comes to me, and that she knows I'm looking out for her. This sisterly love thing is something that I value so much now that we've gotten older. Anyway, yeah. I just noticed how protective I get. I was going to call her friend and REGULATE, but my sister said she's going to be okay. But if the bitch doesn't stop, she will get a piece of my mind. Nobody fucks with my sisters. Damn straight. So I gave her the best advice I have since I know a thing or two about nasty bitches (who are basically intellectual wannabes). Haha, people are just so pathetic. &She said that the lesson during care group actually helped her. Which almost made me believe that it was God's doing. But not quite. I'll believe in the concept of a coincidence first.

Sometime in the near future, I'm going to buy a flower in a vase to put on my desk. Some small reminder that despite the stress of school, finals, worries, problems, and life in general, nature still provides a small glimpse of beauty in the midst of our hectic lives. Maybe it'll cheer me up when I want to shoot my brains out. A daisy, perhaps?

This blog was long. With a strange combination of appreciation, bitterness, love, hate, anger, and happiness threaded throughout. Which totally reflects my mood as of late.

7 days from today, I will be home.